Join us for a different Christmas.
IBP will be distributing gifts to the inmates of Cavite Provincial jail at Trece Martires.
Call time is 3pm tomorrow, December 18, 2008.
Other details are in the minutes posted in our yahoo group.
Archive for December, 2008
dEc 11, 2008
imus ibp building
6 pm.
The case folders though are scattered around the sala. Always a standing ovation here…
ATTORNEY: Are you sexually active?
WITNESS: No, I just lie there.
———— ——— ——— ——— ——— ——— ——
ATTORNEY: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?
WITNESS: Gucci sweats and Reeboks.
____________ _________ _________ ________
ATTORNEY: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory
at all?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: And in what ways does it affect your memory?
WITNESS: I forget.
ATTORNEY: You forget? Can you give us an example of
something you forgot?
____________ _________ _________ _______
ATTORNEY: What was the first thing your husband said to you
that morning?
WITNESS: He said, ‘Where am I, Cathy?’
ATTORNEY: And why did that upset you?
WITNESS: My name is Susan!
____________ _________ _________ _______
ATTORNEY: Now doctor, isn’t it true that when a person dies
in his sleep, he doesn’t know about it until the next morning?
WITNESS: Did you actually pass the bar exam?
____________ _________ _________ ______
ATTORNEY: The youngest son, the twenty-one-year- old, how old
is he?
WITNESS: Uh, he’s twenty-one.
____________ _________ _________ ________
ATTORNEY: Were you present when your picture was taken?
WITNESS: Are you sh*tt’in me?
____________ _________ _________ ________
ATTORNEY: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August
8th?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: And what were you doing at that time?
WITNESS: Uh…. I was gett’in laid!
____________ _________ _________ _______
ATTORNEY: She had three children, right?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: How many were boys?
WITNESS: None.
ATTORNEY: Were there any girls?
WITNESS: Your Honor, I think I need a different
attorney. Can I get a new attorney?
____________ _________ _________ ________
ATTORNEY: How was your first marriage terminated?
WITNESS: By death.
ATTORNEY: And by whose death was it terminated?
WITNESS: Now whose death do you suppose terminated it?
____________ _________ _________ ________
ATTORNEY: Can you describe the individual?
WITNESS: He was about medium height and had a beard.
ATTORNEY: Was this a male or a female?
WITNESS: Guess.
____________ _________ _________ _______
ATTORNEY: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a
deposition notice which I sent to your attorney?
WITNESS: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.
____________ _________ _________ _______
ATTORNEY: Doctor, how many of your autopsies have you
performed on dead people?
WITNESS: All my autopsies are performed on dead
people. Would you like to rephrase that?
____________ _________ _________ _______
ATTORNEY: ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK? What school
did you go to?
WITNESS: Oral.
____________ _________ _________ ________
ATTORNEY: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?
WITNESS: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m.
ATTORNEY: And Mr. Denton was dead at the time?
WITNESS: No, he was sitting on the table wondering why
I was doing an autopsy on him!
____________ _________ _________ _________ _____
ATTORNEY: Are you qualified to give a urine sample?
WITNESS: Huh….are you qualified to ask that
question?
____________ _________ __ ____________ ___
— And the best for last: —
ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you
check for a pulse?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood pressure?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: Did you check for breathing?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive
when you began the autopsy?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a
jar.
ATTORNEY: I see, but could the patient have still been alive,
nevertheless?
WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could have been
alive and practicing law.
Sumagui Law Office
I.B.P. CAVITE 